I've been trying to find a way to share the peace that God has blessed me with for the past 2 months. I feel Psalm 85:9-11 sums up what I've felt this past year perfectly...
9 Surely his salvation is near those who fear him,
that his glory may dwell in our land.
10 Love and faithfulness meet together;
righteousness and peace kiss each other.
11 Faithfulness springs forth from the earth,
and righteousness looks down from heaven.
From the beginning of verse 9, He promises us that salvation is near for those who fear Him. Life is so precious, such a gift, fragile. His will is unknown and out of my hands. After Russell died I feared what next!?! Who's next, when, where, and what holiday, birthday, or anniversary will it fall on. Feared I would never heal, that the pain would run my life. Feared I would never remember the good times, and only the tragic night. Feared I would never accept God's will, see His glory, and live in His peace. I knew that He was the only One to heal that which I was fearful of...Him and His will.
Once I confessed all my fears, I could start to see the chance of His glory dwelling around us. Everything that I feared was opened to healing, the promise of healing is here. HOPE! The more I focus on to that hope, the more I see Russell as he is eternally. I remember who he was on this earth, but the spirit that he is finally able to be, is so much more apparent to me. He is complete. So fully alive, Soul-Fully-Alive ;) , his smile is hard to ignore. God shows me daily who Russ is in His full glory and that is a beautiful peace. At times I feel more connected to him because we were united in spirit on this earth under God. What God brings together, no man can separate. It's not just a line at a wedding to me anymore, it's a truth that breeds even more love and faith.
Love and faith meet, and righteousness and peace kiss each other. Isn't that just sweet honey! It's warm, beautiful, and romantic. It's HOME. His glory is love and faith in our lives, and we will strive for righteousness and the peace will over flow. To me righteousness is not about trying to be so perfect you don't live, because you are afraid to sin. It's more about letting go of control and flowing with God's will. Peace and goodness follows. Able to live freely, without worry, without fear, without guilt, not perfect...just GOOD. It is GOOD.
Faith is springing new life, and God is winking from heaven.