More OF Less

Slacking on posting because I'm house hunting, on top of everything else. (No, I'm looking for a house on the beach. It's a simple picture but there is a lot happening in the simplicity.) House hunting, it's a little stressful, but a great way to move forward. Everything happens for a reason, and for all the times I complained about living in a mobile home, I am SO happy I did. Of course I had other reasons why I did not mind it, low payment that was quickly paid off, small and simple, and NOW small price tag for someone else to buy. In these tough times I'm hopeful that a family would love to downsize into our comfy mobile home. Take it anywhere they wanna BE!

In our new home, that the children are super happy about, we'd still like to keep it simple. I've learned even more in the past 2 and half months that less is more. Russell and I always tried to live a simple life, filled with family, friends, and God's delight. But minds can wonder, we're human. Having "more" seems better, the more the merrier, grass is greener....but it's still the same grass. I have learned this on so many levels and glad it's one area where Abba has really blessed me.

Less stuff. I never really suffered from shop-o-lism, maybe the Goodwill-lism!?! Anyway, I've learn that having 4 pairs of pants, 2 sweaters, 2 jackets, 1 coat, 7 shirts/underwear/socks IS really all the clothes you need. Your children too! It also means less laundry!! I've enjoyed just having what we need all in one room, granted I'm ready for a little more space, but we have everything we NEED. The kids don't have too many toys; they'd rather play outside with sticks and dirt. We've checked out the local library for books, seeing how we are too far away from our regular stomping grounds. Plus, mom doesn't have DISH or cable, so less TV (guilty pleasure) means more reading. Love that.

Less pick up and GO. More relax, stay a while. I've slowed my "roll" down a lot. I like being productive but I'm happy with biting off a little at a time now. At the end of the week, I still got a bunch of stuff done. I helped my kids pick up their toys, instead of ordering them around...I'm kinda snappy that way. I hugged Ike when he got frustrated with Lilli because she talks too much. Sharing her feelings sometimes sounds like she is rattin' her brother out, and the snow ball is rolling. So when my head was about to come off, I started crying, got on my knees, and hugged both of them. (I'm guilty of shouting to take control of the situation...but I'm really out of control.) I forced myself to used the opportunity to teach them. Less shouting more listening, less hurting more loving, and less shouting more hugging-momma.

Less of my mouth, means I hear Him clearly. When in shock, people around you sound like Charlie Brown parents, in case you've never been in shock. You only see emotions and hear what God wants you to hear. "You'll be OK, We love you, You are not alone, We'll help you, I AM WITH YOU!" It's an amazing survival tool He installed. See, I carry on an on-going conversation with God all the time, really. I've even thanked Him for a coupon I didn't know I had, "Cool, thanks dude. You're awesome.", in front of the cashier! She thought I was nuts. So if you have every seen me "talk to myself", I'm not, it's God. Well when I shut up, He'll talk a blue streak! "I love you precious child, go and be a strong woman, I'm here, you need to rest, find joy in the pain and tears, My will, baby...Not yours." It helps the stress.

Less stress. More freedom and truth! It's awesome. When you know the truth, you only have to say it ONCE, to yourself anyways. Not many times, over and over to convince yourself of it. Just once. Say it, live it, and then be done. Even Jesus said "it is finished." He did not have to come back over and over doing the same thing. He just came, spoke the truth, lived it, and went on His way. I'm doing my best to go "net-less" and follow. His voice drowns out all negative voices who scream their opinions to the world for no other reason than insecurity. Which in turn allows me to just simply not listen and not form an opinion on something so ridiculous.

Less of me. Less of me means more of Him. I prayed before Russ passed that we would hungry for Him more, lean on Him more, and love Him more intimately. In a round about way, my prayers are answered. It's not pretty, but it's true. I prayed that Russ and I would be closer than ever. I thought we did a pretty darn good job of being open and honest. We talked all the time, worked on our feelings, and shared dreams. Sat in prayer with each other and for each other daily. We always wanted to be with each other more. He hated leaving for work, wished we could go with each other on guys/girls night out, and even talked on the phone when following each other driving. We simply loved each others company and friendship. He is my beloved help-mate. Now, he is with me 24/7. Can't see, hear, touch him in earthly terms, but in spirit God allows him a direct line to me. A vision of him flying beside my car, seeing a hawk, finding a four leaf clover, having our children sing his songs out of the blue, or share a memory. It's like a unlimited plan!

That pretty much says it, I'm looking for a house and MORE OF LESS making it a HOME. Love to you all.


Thankful Thursday

I got an idea, Thankful Thursday! A friend of mine blogs, Not Me Monday and Wordless Wednesday. Go Erin! I've tried to play along, but nothing comes out. I've had some wonderful things happen to me in my time of grief. I am thankful, so thankful! ONE, I am still so blessed and TWO that I'm still able to see, hear, taste, and feel the blessings!!!

So its Thankful Thursday! Let's give thanks! (Oh. I must add Russ and my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving...BTW it's always on a Thursday too!)

1. Walking with the kids on Monday. Our plan was to scope out the yard where I picked my wedding bouquet, and pick a couple for my Anniversary. All the flowers were a little chilly from the snow, so we just enjoy the pond and rock garden. We saw tad-polls!

2. Lillian is so honest and pure at heart. We were talking about our anniversary, March 3 2001. They wanted to know all the ins and outs of the day. It was a nice chat. Lillian ended it with, "Mom, I want you to have another husband." I giggled "Oh really, why?" She answered "Cause you don't have one here, on earth." I told her I'd think about it, but I enjoyed just being with them for now. She is so precious, she just wants her momma to be happy.

3. Isaac held my hand for a long time. I love his hands and his quiet nature. As well as, how he answers EVERYTHING with..."Mmm fine, Mmm kay, Mmm sure..." What a man.

4. I'm thankful for my marriage with Russell. It was not perfect, but it was the REAL DEAL. He made me talk so much, about things I just wanted to ignore or blow off. We made each other laugh from the get go, and kept it going until the end. He made our family think about others and try to help whenever we could. Changing tires for older ladies, buying pizza for cops on Christmas Eve, and stopping to thank soldiers whenever they'd pass. He is just a loving, sweet, caring spirit. I'm so thankful I had the little time I did to celebrate life with you, sugar bear. My eyes and heart are open wide. Happy Anniversary!

5. For my ladies! For thinking of me, praying for me, watching my children, sending food, and loving on me. As well as filling me up with laughter on my anniversary. I really am blessed to have such wonderful women in my life. My mom is the best one of all, sorry girls. M'Kay!

6. For little signs and wonders that let me know He and Russ are around. The hawk I saw while I was listening to his music for the first time after his passing! He could spot a hawk from 200 yards; once we saw one fly down and pick up a rabbit...no lie. It was NUTS! The earth-angels that surprise me in Kroger!! Thank YOU!

7. For my little friend Esther, she melted my heart the other night. "It's Marah! Hey Marah!" We read a book and snuggled for a few. She is precious and helped me to re-think my name for my grandchildren, from SamBam to Marah. Is that the BEST or what!?!

8. Speaking of Esther, I'm thankful for my study of the book Esther. It came along at a great time. God's will during a time of crisis and following Him. PLUS...The time to read! My two new books I can't wait to dig into as well...Sacred Romance by Curtis & Eldredge and Sex God by Rob Bell. It's not what you think. (He he he ;))

9. For laughter. I can still laugh and take every chance to do so!!! Mom and Woody are funny. Now that we are "roomies" the on-goings of their everyday here and there are hilarious. It's nice to be around them during this time; they listen, cry, and help me to laugh a lot. Life, it is what it is. LAUGH.

10. Spring! Yeah, the snow was great and all, but I'm ready for spring. Warmth, flowers, festivals, and grilling out with my babies. (It was one of their FAVORITE things to do with Russ. "Dad, Are we grilling out? SWEET!")
I'm ready to find a home and take advantage of my SWEET gift-card to Home Depot! Flowers, plants, or....TOOLS!! Can't wait to build a home full of love.

Thanks for sharing in my Thankful Thursday. Give thanks with a grateful heart. Give a thanks full of cheer, He loves a cheerful giver. He IS.