Just Saying

It builds....builds....and builds,

and I want to knock it down, crush it.

Faulted and just plain wrong,

it is the friend I can't get rid of, for right now.

My feelings are anger and rage.

Excuse my honesty, my freedom with a splash of tart.

I wanna to cause a finder binder, jump out the car guns blazing, blaming the other person.

I wanna trip some random person in Publix

I wanna punch people who stand RIGHT behind me while checking out at target;

maybe even push all their items off the belt.
I wanna spit in the face of people who whine,
one because they do, two because I spit well and don't have
many chances to show off my talent.
I wanna get a bar fight ending with burning a cigarette
on a forehead. (Just cause I saw it in a movie.)
I wanna throw rocks through windows,
lots of windows
I wanna argue about politics
even if I agree with other person.

I really wanna
UPDATE
what's one my mind
and throw a couple people for a loop
I really wanna
scream
IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!
to a lot of people

I wanna comment
"no body cares" and mean it
I wanna give the spanking their parents never did.
I wanna reply "Horrible" and walk away
when someone asks me how I am.
I don't wanna use spell check.
I wanna laugh all over again at the boy who
fell from the ceiling, wanting to crowd surf,
at the NOFX show 13 years ago
but I encouraged everyone to
back up, open the circle
and BAM, punk kid.

I don't want to
smile in pictures...
yes,
I really am crying...
deal.




I wanna
cry wolf
get drunk
trip one last time

get lost all over again

not care

not feel guilt

and not look back.

But I won't.

I'm Samarah

I'm a sinner

I am not my anger

I am not my behavior

I am a new creation

and a vessal for

blessing to

flow. AND I WILL.